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My brother recently forwarded to me the following article from Psychology Today.
After reading through the article, I was stuck with how wise my Mom in Chicago was. She had gave me three sayings about marriage since my high school years, all in line with what the psychologists concluded much later. Frankly speaking, my parents are more of an example of how NOT to treat your spouses, but I am grateful for the alternative that my Mom and Dad in Chicago have shown, living out these principles. There is nothing to be gained from marrying the wrong person early.
1. This increased emphasis on emotional fulfillment within marriage leaves couples ill-prepared for the realities they will probably face.
Mom in Chicago: "Marriage is worth it, but it's hard work."
(Before getting married, make sure both of you are willing to work on it together.)
2. All marriages are incompatible. All marriages are between people from different families, people who have a different view of things. The magic is to develop binocular vision, to see life through your partner's eyes as well as through your own.
Mom in Chicago: "Marry your best friend."
(Before getting married, make sure he/she is first and foremost a friend, and vice versa.)
3. The truth is that for most people, neither marriage nor divorce seem to have a decisive impact on happiness. And assuming that marriage will automatically provide contentment is itself a surefire recipe for misery.
Mom in Chicago: "It's better to be single and happy rather than married and miserable."
(Before getting married, make sure you are happy with yourself, rather than expecting the other person to make you happy.)
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